I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
