and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
What a dumb baby whore.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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