So gin and wine won't be happening again
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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