i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
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I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
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Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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