Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize