I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
