I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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