i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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