i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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