On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
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