Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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