6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
