I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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