You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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