thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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