Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
