I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize