great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my being single is dangerous.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
