I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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