my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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