ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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