I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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