Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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