they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
