she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
