Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
