I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
