Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
