why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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