can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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