THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
