I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
