I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
