i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
