did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
