There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
