During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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