I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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