If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
