I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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