we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
