my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize