Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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