Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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