put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
