I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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