the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
