If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize