Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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