I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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