i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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