god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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