Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize