shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
