evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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