so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You dont lie about slip and slides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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