"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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