Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
