Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
