3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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